Thank G-d, I really am happy at my seminary. I just finished all of my finals. I've made those friends that I wonder how I lived without. I know my way around the neighborhood. Homesickness is a thing of the past. I'm starting to open up to my teachers and build lasting relationships with them.
But privacy is rare - virtually nonexistent, in fact. I share a room with two other girls (who I love) and an apartment with fourteen other girls (who I also love). Our building is not enormous. I am constantly surrounded by people, whether it be peers, teachers, or madrichot (basically R.A.s - "madricha" is the singular form). Sometimes it's hard to find a quiet place to talk on the phone - often I'll stow away in an empty classroom at night, but even then I can hear Zumba going on down the hall.
When a madricha asked me if I could babysit for someone tonight, I agreed because I had nothing better to do. But it turned out to be better than anything I could have come up with.
The baby is sleeping, so for all intents and purposes I'm by myself. And it is quiet. I didn't realize how much I missed solitude.
When you're in seminary you feel obligated to be a part of the parties, outings, and social scenes. Opting to spend time alone is prone to inducing major FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).
But wow, is it underrated.
I've been sitting here peacefully in uninterrupted bliss, reading and basking in the beautiful abscence of sound. OK, I had a pear from the fridge, too. But hey, they said that I was welcome to help myself.
And the best part of this gig? I'm getting paid.
Too bad they'll be home in an hour. I guess I'll have to enjoy this while I can.